christian mcdonough – 100 poems for d.f.l. (#51-100)

Hush hush hush
I’m going to blush
I’m going to…!

Oh my!
Oh my!

-

It is good to laugh
It is good to cry

It is good to know
	You will one day die

-

Pfffffooopt
That’s the sound
Of the endless

Poop

-

God came to you & I
To bring back the fatherland,
With some fries.

He cried out to us,
Tears in His eyes,
Waiting for something

From which he could die.

-

The heart beats,
It leers and cries,

“I hate it in here!
“I wish I could die!”

Again, again,
I repeat myself to you,

But you never listen,
Do you?

-

When I was a child
My mother said,
“No! No!”

When I said,
“Yes! Yes!”

What did it do?
Did it make me second guess?

-

Infant me
Crying, screaming,

Did I get enough attention?
Did I get a bit too much?

I write and write,
Am I just 
Crying, screaming,

Again?

-

A bibg, buhluddy Niffe
It so muhch, so muhsh

It slise - it dies !

O, bing bing

Comb me
Womb me
Lumb ee!!!

-

Woman cat
Fucky sucky

-

Tried and true
Unknown to you

Unseen and unheard
The great big Absurd

-

The mountaintops, the highlands
Where all trash reigns
Where all Gods came

And left their own “remains.”

-

The boy stepped through the door
Whereupon he fell -
In love, in hate, in life -
He fell.

He fell and saw -
Through death, through sorrow, through terror -
He saw.

He saw all he needed to see.
He saw all that he could see.
He knew all that he could be.
He was not what he wanted to be.

He spoke and heard -
Through the air, through the water, through the earth -
The voice of a girl.

She spoke to him and heard -
With him, through him, against him -
The law of the Absurd.

They rose and fell.
They stood to tell.
They spoke the stories.
They knew them well.

-

I habe a big assshole..

I have a big heart.

-

I have a green face.
I never knew another place…

I never held another hand…

I never traveled to that land.
I always held my own head high…

I was always crying 
To the sky.

-

There is something here that never stops,
Never ceases,
Beyond itself.
Beyond the end that nears.

There is something here that will continue forever,
Endless,
Infinite.

-

Triangulate
Deprecate
Decapitate

The beast berates
And prays
And dates

Young women

-

Unhorrorificated
The blank being hunshitillated

Forgotten fears harangue 

The mother entertains

-

Mr. Menackus makes cockus
Of all the greedy Bacchus!

-

Weavel it wordy

Lest beastman shine surely

Toward the navel
Big, bad Hazel

-

Rapt in That, thee Gratefulness,
He envisaged his own Hart to be
Some weary sort of Homunculi,

Such noodlings of He felt
Bashful at base, and Nautical
As well…

For, He, Being He, was…
Distasteful,
Wasteful,
And Deep.

Ah, such a voyage that
Wherefrom the deer would drown…
The tenor 
Of the Octopi
Would most surely
Sing!

Ah, yes, yes,
‘Twas so long
Ago, so long…
Yes

That none living now
Could bear it
Could see it

None!

Yes…
How shameful such a…
Scallywag
Could be.

Such were the times…
Yes…
Such they were
That One’s Own Mother
Could not bare
It
Nor Other
Nor, truly,
Anything.

-

Anything, anything, anything
I can’t bare anything.

I can’t have anything.
I can’t see.

I cry and tremble and fall
I fall and fall

Down deep wells
Everyday.

And they just go on and on
Deeper and deeper.

Until I hit a bottom,
Any bottom,

And am all wet,
Soggy and gross,

And filled with disgust,
Nothing but disgust.

I hate it
I hate it all.

I still go on, though,
On and on.

And I see what there is to see.
And I do it all for myself.

For others too,
But I love myself.

Yes, I love myself,
And I don’t need others.

Well, no, I do need others.
But I try.

I try and try,
Anything, anything, anything

I can’t bare anything.
I can’t have anything.

I can’t see.

-

I feel you,
I hear you,
I know you are there.

I listen to you,
I want for you,
Want what is best.

You listen to me?
You care for me?
No, don’t do it.

Something else,
Something else,
Whatever there must be.

How treacherous,
How terrible,
What something must there be?

Uncaring, unknowing,
Unthought and unsung,

This dark night everlasting,
This play done been played.

-

I’d like to make a play
And make them all sing

And dance.

They would confront you,
And torture you,

But it would all be for the best.

You would learn,
And cry,

And feel things never before felt.

This play would not be only mine,
It would be yours and mine,

And it would be made up of us.

-

The bane of all mankind
Is sex.

No it’s murder.

No it’s rape.

No it’s love.

No it’s hate.

I am just playing,
It is not known to date.

-

I’ve been thinking
That I should start 
Writing about myself
	Again.

Much more than before
About my childhood
About my fears
About things that happened
	To me.

But what will I write about?
I’m not so sure.
It could be friends I had.
Times when kids
	Called me a fag.

Or feeling lonely or angry
Or scared and sad
Back when I was little
And always felt so bad.

-

Sexual fears and worries,
Maybe things like that.
Insecurities and anxieties
About what might be had,

If I were to let myself go,
If I were to not worry and
Fear, that that which I am
Is something unclear.

-

The past is the past,
It has already passed.

I don’t need it with me,
But it’s already here.
So, what to do with it?
	What to do?
	What to do?

I’ll make stupid poems
And pretend it’s all true.

-

True? False? What’s the difference?
What smarts?

I’m already myself,
But who is this poet?
The one who writes these words,
It’s not me.
No,
It can’t be.

It’s not me,
No, not me.

-

Haha haha!
I made you laugh
Once or twice

Earlier, with the gags,
I thought they were nice.

-

Little tiffs and fights,
With friends last night,

Screaming and crying,
Bad claims flying,

Feeling stiff and sad,

Real distant and bad,

And love and care,
Tenderness to spare.

Things continue,
Onwards and up.

I have faith.

I have luck.

-

Dirty rotten bastards in the hole
The hole
The hole

-

I don’t know what to do anymore
Anymore
Anymore

I just look and see
And then it is there

-

My mind wanders
I see a woman
I see a man
I see a universe
Stars and lights

Other things
What other things?
I see blackness
Plaques
Signs
Telling me something
But I don’t know what

-

How awful
How strange

Golden beaks as ears
Toes mauled and bloody

A thousand eyes
Covered with thin layers of skin

Long cracking and reforming legs
With stumps for feet

The sound of an infant crying
Of bones shattering

The scream of a woman
Like a witch’s laugh

Words unknowable
Never meant to be heard

Spoken.

-

The black square
The meaning grid
The line of thought
The trapped bid

-

1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
T h e a t r e p l a y
Ru  a l r u a   I n y
Un  t l a n r   e y y
E tio l p  og        y
P l a y a g a I n a n

-

H O L E
O,W I N
W-L-ED

-

A B A B
H A H A
A B A B
H A H A

-

THE LIFE   TIME
END GOES LIME
IS     AWAYRIME
NEAR FARMIME

-

D A R K L I G H   T
N I G H T S K Y    I
R E S U S C I T A T E
       I
       N
AN K L E B I T     E R

-

I love it so much
How life lives again, again
Forever burning

-

The little green frog
Lost at night in a dark fog
Croaked its last breath

-

No more of that, no.
I can’t do it anymore.
Back to screaming.

-

The trials I face
I flounder
I embrace

-

Don’t put me there
I want to be here
Not there

No, here, 
There. 

-

A majestic creature
Soaring above our heads
Let down its whip

-

For left
Me bereft
And seeing none so much as now

-

Free for living
This country-city singing
It made no tale

-

Two-ton bricks
Falling upon the ditch
He smushed it

-

One more thing
To tell you
Before you go.

Don’t let go,
Come again,
Return.

Return to that which you love,
That which you have found.

Don’t give it up.
Do what moves you,
Nothing else.




@CMhcrDiosntoiua




HOME